Random Cotton Pickin' Musings

Quote: <<The length of suffering is totally dependent upon us... Everything that comes into our lives is neutral... We are the ones who decide if it is to be good or bad... While we may, or may not, have been responsible for an event happening in our lives,... We are totally responsible for our reaction to it, once it happens... >>

I don't think that everything that comes into our lives is neutral. Often we don't understand why bad things happen, but we rarely question when good things happen. But there are also reasons why bad things happen - things like sin (including the fall), rebellion, and disobedience (ours or other people's). There can also be times of discipline:

Hebrews 12:
6For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
7If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
8But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
9Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
10For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
11Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
12Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;
13And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.


Sometimes we bring our troubles on ourselves because we do not allow the Spirit to lead us:
Romans 8:6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.


And then there's the book of James:

NIV James 1: 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Sonshine wrote:LOL Well, so far I've not heard Susan say "Oy vey", so guess we're ok in that department. I'll have to try the voi voi one. LOL

o.k. - you are making me laugh . I say it once in a while
I did not grow up fully a cultural Jew, but am part of it for 13 years.
What is fascinating is linguisitcally there is a lot of relationship between many European languages and Yiddish - where the expressions can be very close across the board. Voi Voi and Oy Vey are a sign of it.And , there are different dialects of Yiddish which is interesting - roughly it is a mix of Hebrew and whatever local Germanic language there was, but there is also a sephardic form which is Hebrew and Spanish - Ladino.
Pennsylvania Dutch Amish and someone speaking Yiddish are able to understand each other.
I never spoke German ,but heard some around me growing up here and there and get a sense of understanding Yiddish when I hear it.

<<<In 1997, I was informed by my wife of 21 years, that her job was more important to her than I was (She kicked me to the curb on 02), >>>>

This is horrible to go through, there are no words for how hard something like that can be.

This thread makes me wonder if maybe we should have a place for people to posts their testimonies.........

oh Cotton Pickerrr... where are U my friend........ you haven't respondeeeedddd... now you got me worried! I hope I wasn't too outspoken, I have a tendency to do that, you know!!!

Marie wrote:
CP, you said

Cotton Picker wrote:
Either we are in control of our emotions... Or our emotions are in control of us... God unlocks the door... By faith we open it.... Or stay, in a self-imposed exile... Behind an unlocked door....

I would come at this from a different angle.
I see that the attributes of a Christian life are passive, rather than active. I would go so far as to say we are passive recipients every step of the way. What Frankl and others seem to say is that we must "do". This puts the burden of our happiness, peace, contentment, faith, salvation, and life's meaning completely on ourselves and our choices: Make the choice to be happy not sad, contented rather than discontented, saved rather than lost.

I disagree.... While faith is an attitude of the heart, it is a very active thing.... We reach out to God by faith.. We receive the gift of salvation by an active faith in Jesus... Are we than not responsible to carry that foreword into this?..

Romans 12:1 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice--the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask?
Rom 12:2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.

Becoming a living sacrifice... Is anything but passive...

Marie wrote:
This seems in opposition to what the Bible says.

John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

That verse, goes well with this one....

Isaiah 64:6 We are all infected and impure with sin. When we proudly display our righteous deeds, we find they are but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall. And our sins, like the wind, sweep us away.

Marie wrote:
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

If our minds are not consumed with fear... We are free to busy ourselves with constructive activities rather than wasting our days, hiding under our beds

Matthew 6:34 "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.

Marie wrote:
Ephesians 2
1And you hath he quickened, [/b]who were dead in trespasses and sins; (can a dead person make himself alive? Nope, we have been made alive) 2Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:
3Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.
4But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,
5Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
6And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
8For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

It is all God, and not us.

Look again at verse 10.... And then look at this...

James 2:14 Dear brothers and sisters, what's the use of saying you have faith if you don't prove it by your actions? That kind of faith can't save anyone.

Jam 2:15 Suppose you see a brother or sister who needs food or clothing,

Jam 2:16 and you say, "Well, good-bye and God bless you; stay warm and eat well"--but then you don't give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?

Jam 2:17 So you see, it isn't enough just to have faith. Faith that doesn't show itself by good deeds is no faith at all--it is dead and useless.

Jam 2:18 Now someone may argue, "Some people have faith; others have good deeds." I say, "I can't see your faith if you don't have good deeds, but I will show you my faith through my good deeds."

Jam 2:19 Do you still think it's enough just to believe that there is one God? Well, even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror!

Jam 2:20 Fool! When will you ever learn that faith that does not result in good deeds is useless?

Jam 2:21 Don't you remember that our ancestor Abraham was declared right with God because of what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar?

Jam 2:22 You see, he was trusting God so much that he was willing to do whatever God told him to do. His faith was made complete by what he did--by his actions.

Jam 2:23 And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: "Abraham believed God, so God declared him to be righteous." He was even called "the friend of God."

Jam 2:24 So you see, we are made right with God by what we do, not by faith alone.

Jam 2:25 Rahab the prostitute is another example of this. She was made right with God by her actions--when she hid those messengers and sent them safely away by a different road.

Jam 2:26 Just as the body is dead without a spirit, so also faith is dead without good deeds.

Marie wrote:
High self-esteem and a positive attitude are human and fleshly attributes.

I disagree... While the Bible does say this...

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.

Jesus also said this...

Mark 12:29 Jesus replied, "The most important commandment is this: `Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord.

Mar 12:30 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.'

Mar 12:31 The second is equally important: `Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these."

There is a chasm between Narcissism and the sense of positive self-regard that is critical in the human capacity for true love.... Humans are incapable of demonstrating genuine love towards others, when their hearts are filled with insecurity and self-loathing.... That is why this quote, is so true....

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength”
-- St. Francis de Sales

Marie wrote:
They affect the senses and the will, but they do not affect the undying and eternal spirit. This is like putting a band-aid on an infected wound. You must get to the root of the problem, cleanse it and purify it.. and then you can look toward true, longlasting and beneficial healing. If the inward spiritual problem is not addressed, then the flesh must work mightily to subdue sin. If the Holy Spirit has been allowed to do its work, then it is now the 'internal combustion engine' which motivates a person to good fruits, happiness, contentment, and so forth.

Very true.... However.... Our country is in the toilet because there are far and away too many Christians, who are sitting around the boob-tube, with their engines idling... Passively waiting for someone else to bell the cat, of tyranny run amok... Or worse yet... They are like this....

Revelation 3:14 "Write this letter to the angel of the church in Laodicea. This is the message from the one who is the Amen--the faithful and true witness, the rulerof God's creation:

Rev 3:15 "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish you were one or the other!

Rev 3:16 But since you are like lukewarm water, I will spit you out of my mouth!

Rev 3:17 You say, `I am rich. I have everything I want. I don't need a thing!' And you don't realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked.

Rev 3:18 I advise you to buy gold from me--gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. And also buy white garments so you will not be shamed by your nakedness. And buy ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see.

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Oh, there you are!! lol

I see what you are saying..however.. what I am talking about is the foundation of our faith. We must first have a firm foundation, and in my opinion and understanding and through my own experience of struggling with these things, our foundation must be sure. Built on the Rock of our Salvation, Jesus Christ.

I have nothing against psychiatry, psychology, character building, good works, and all of the things that help us understand and sort out our lives and are evidence of our faith.. however, there is no way they can stand alone, without the foundation as I wrote above. Not if we are going to truly be Christian and not "whited sepulchres...full of dead men's bones".

So I'm backing wayyyy up, going back right to the beginning.. What is our testimony, what is our faith really built on. The reason this is important to me is because it was not clear to me for many years what, exactly, my faith was built upon. Was it only the outward performance, was it understanding human nature through psychology, or was it firmly grounded on Jesus Christ and what he has done for me....

thanks for responding, ya had me worried

I realize that this thread is in the "Christianity and Politics" forum, but your opening post did not mention politics.... So let me ask you this way: If you were to visit some faraway land where people had never heard of Christianity or what it meant to be a Christian, what would you tell them. Would you tell them you must belong to a certain political party? No, you wouldn't.. so that's where I'm starting from....

Marie wrote:

Cotton Picker wrote:
The length of suffering is totally dependent upon us... Everything that comes into our lives is neutral... We are the ones who decide if it is to be good or bad... While we may, or may not, have been responsible for an event happening in our lives,... We are totally responsible for our reaction to it, once it happens...

I don't think that everything that comes into our lives is neutral. Often we don't understand why bad things happen, but we rarely question when good things happen. But there are also reasons why bad things happen - things like sin (including the fall), rebellion, and disobedience (ours or other people's). There can also be times of discipline: Hebrews 12:

Disciple from our Heavenly Father, only further proves this....

Romans 14:16 Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil.

Good and evil are relative concepts.. That is why this verse can be seen as both a blessing and a curse....

Matthew 5:45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and on the unjust, too.

I would venture to guess, that in the midst of a drought, you would not be praying for more sunshine, and conversely when up to your neck in floodwater, you probably would not be praying for more rain...

Marie wrote:
Sometimes we bring our troubles on ourselves because we do not allow the Spirit to lead us: Romans 8:6

True enough... However.... Jesus taught us a lesson in this...

Luke 4:9 Then the Devil took him to Jerusalem, to the highest point of the Temple, and said, "If you are the Son of God, jump off!

Luke 4:10 For the Scriptures say, `He orders his angels to protect and guard you.

Luke 4:11 And they will hold you with their hands to keep you from striking your foot on a stone.'"

Luke 4:12 Jesus responded, "The Scriptures also say, `Do not test the Lord your God.'
Footnote:
* Deut 6:16

Deuteronomy 6:16 Do not test the LORD your God as you did when you complained at Massah.

I would say that there are times when we demand that God perform parlor tricks for our entertainment...

Marie wrote:
And then there's the book of James: James 1:

Yes..There is the book of James...

James 4:1 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn't it the whole army of evil desires at war within you?

Jam 4:2 You want what you don't have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous for what others have, and you can't possess it, so you fight and quarrel to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don't have what you want is that you don't ask God for it.

Jam 4:3 And even when you do ask, you don't get it because your whole motive is wrong--you want only what will give you pleasure.

Jam 4:4 You adulterers! Don't you realize that friendship with this world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again, that if your aim is to enjoy this world, you can't be a friend of God.

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pepperens wrote:

Cotton Picker wrote:
In 1997, I was informed by my wife of 21 years, that her job was more important to her than I was (She kicked me to the curb on 02),

This is horrible to go through, there are no words for how hard something like that can be.

Thank you for your kind words....

I look upon the actual divorce as more of a coup de grâce... The real pain had occured five years prior when she informed me that her job was more important to her than I was... She, in all reality, did me a favor... She amputated something from her life, that she no longer had any use for... Namely me.. And thereby gave me the freedom to not be duty and honor bound, to be concerned with meeting the needs of someone who was obviously not at all concerned with meeting mine...

.

Marie wrote:
oh Cotton Pickerrr... where are U my friend........ you haven't respondeeeedddd... now you got me worried! I hope I wasn't too outspoken, I have a tendency to do that, you know!!!

No Worries...

I joined Charlie Daniels website forum, and have been a little busy there...

I was kinda saving this topic for dessert...

.

..and then Hebrews 11..the heroes of the faith.. They did not receive their reward on this earth.. they died in faith without receiving the promises and in fact suffered greatly..but they confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. They sought a better country, a heavenly one.. As we do. They are our model, this is our temporary home for just a short time, we travel to a better land.

Cotton Picker wrote:

Marie wrote:
oh Cotton Pickerrr... where are U my friend........ you haven't respondeeeedddd... now you got me worried! I hope I wasn't too outspoken, I have a tendency to do that, you know!!!

No Worries...

I joined Charlie Daniels website forum, and have been a little busy there...

I was kinda saving this topic for dessert...

.

chuckle.. I kinda figured you found some place... okay, that's good. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Dessert, huh? Well then, we're going to have to get tougher with you!!!

Did you hear that, gang?? lol

PS: don't forget, CP.. all that is just 'wood, hay and stubble....."

Marie wrote:
Oh, there you are!! lol

Yes... Here I be...

Marie wrote:
I see what you are saying..however.. what I am talking about is the foundation of our faith. We must first have a firm foundation, and in my opinion and understanding and through my own experience of struggling with these things, our foundation must be sure. Built on the Rock of our Salvation, Jesus Christ.

Of course...

1Corinthians 3:11 For no one can lay any other foundation than the one we already have--Jesus Christ.

Marie wrote:
I have nothing against psychiatry, psychology, character building, good works, and all of the things that help us understand and sort out our lives and are evidence of our faith.. however, there is no way they can stand alone, without the foundation as I wrote above. Not if we are going to truly be Christian and not "whited sepulchres...full of dead men's bones".

You will have to excuse me for believing that what you just stated, was a given on a site devoted to a Christian perspective...

Marie wrote:
So I'm backing wayyyy up, going back right to the beginning.. What is our testimony, what is our faith really built on. The reason this is important to me is because it was not clear to me for many years what, exactly, my faith was built upon. Was it only the outward performance, was it understanding human nature through psychology, or was it firmly grounded on Jesus Christ and what he has done for me....

I believe I used this somewhere else... I can't verify it due to still being in the technical foul, penalty box over there...

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Marie wrote:
thanks for responding, ya had me worried

No Worries... I knew that my responses to your queries was going to take a bit of time investment... Please accept my apologies for taking so long...
.

No one can ever understand what this is like, ( if not having been through it ) in any situation related to a marriage break up, but I am glad that you are o.k.
I mean it.
It takes great bravery ( for lack of better words) to get through it.

Cotton Picker wrote:

pepperens wrote:

Cotton Picker wrote:
In 1997, I was informed by my wife of 21 years, that her job was more important to her than I was (She kicked me to the curb on 02),

This is horrible to go through, there are no words for how hard something like that can be.

Thank you for your kind words....

I look upon the actual divorce as more of a coup de grâce... The real pain had occured five years prior when she informed me that her job was more important to her than I was... She, in all reality, did me a favor... She amputated something from her life, that she no longer had any use for... Namely me.. And thereby gave me the freedom to not be duty and honor bound, to be concerned with meeting the needs of someone who was obviously not at all concerned with meeting mine...

.

Marie wrote:
I realize that this thread is in the "Christianity and Politics" forum, but your opening post did not mention politics.... So let me ask you this way: If you were to visit some faraway land where people had never heard of Christianity or what it meant to be a Christian, what would you tell them. Would you tell them you must belong to a certain political party? No, you wouldn't.. so that's where I'm starting from...

Firstly I would not lead in with my Christian beliefs... I would do the recon necessary to establish where the people were ideologically, develop a working knowledge of the cultural belief system in opperaton... And then go about.. With God's help... The building of bridges from their cultural beliefs... To the knowledge of Jesus, His teachings, and the way of salvation...

Kinda like what Paul did...

Acts 17:16 While Paul was waiting for them in Athens, he was deeply troubled by all the idols he saw everywhere in the city.

Acts 17:17 He went to the synagogue to debate with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and he spoke daily in the public square to all who happened to be there.

Acts 17:18 He also had a debate with some of the Epicurean and Stoic philosophers. When he told them about Jesus and his resurrection, they said, "This babbler has picked up some strange ideas." Others said, "He's pushing some foreign religion."

Acts 17:19 Then they took him to the Council of Philosophers. "Come and tell us more about this new religion," they said.

Acts17:20 "You are saying some rather startling things, and we want to know what it's all about."

Acts 17:21 (It should be explained that all the Athenians as well as the foreigners in Athens seemed to spend all their time discussing the latest ideas.)

Acts 17:22 So Paul, standing before the Council, [fn] addressed them as follows: "Men of Athens, I notice that you are very religious,

Acts 17:23 for as I was walking along I saw your many altars. And one of them had this inscription on it--`To an Unknown God.' You have been worshiping him without knowing who he is, and now I wish to tell you about him.

Acts17:24 "He is the God who made the world and everything in it. Since he is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn't live in man-made temples,

Acts 17:25 and human hands can't serve his needs--for he has no needs. He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need there is.

Acts 17:26 From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand which should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries.

Acts 17:27 "His purpose in all of this was that the nations should seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him--though he is not far from any one of us.

Acts 17:28 For in him we live and move and exist. As one of your own poets says, `We are his offspring.'

Acts 17:29 And since this is true, we shouldn't think of God as an idol designed by craftsmen from gold or silver or stone.

Acts 17:30 God overlooked people's former ignorance about these things, but now he commands everyone everywhere to turn away from idols and turn to him.

Acts 17:31 For he has set a day for judging the world with justice by the man he has appointed, and he proved to everyone who this is by raising him from the dead."

Acts 17:32 When they heard Paul speak of the resurrection of a person who had been dead, some laughed, but others said, "We want to hear more about this later."

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pepperens wrote:
No one can ever understand what this is like, ( if not having been through it ) in any situation related to a marriage break up, but I am glad that you are o.k.
I mean it.
It takes great bravery ( for lack of better words) to get through it.

Thank you once again for your kind words... To be honest, I don't consider surviving the breakup of my marriage to be a question of bravery...

Disarming someone, hand-to-hand, who had a cocked and loaded 1911 frame, .45 automatic, with a full clip, pointed at me, with nothing more than my bare hands, and God's grace, took a bit more nerve.. And it hurt pretty badly too... Because it was my own son, who did it...
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broken branch bearing fruit. If you are becoming exhausted in doing good
perhaps you are proceeding on your own power. An unnatural attachment
develops when you find yourself loaning rather than giving. When the
fruit is ripe, the vine releases it.

The Lord loves a cheerful giver. If we give out of cumpulsion there is
no joy. Because we expect something in return.

If I give my body to be burned and have not love. Sacrificing
everything, for the wrong reasons is selfish. If the motivation for
allowing ourselves to be tormented is in order to be noticed, than being
noticed is the only reward we can expect.

Also, if I do something for someone else in order that I can share it,
who am I really doing it for anyhow? Wouldn't it be more expedient to
just do it for ourselves and cut out the middleman? To get our kicks
wholesale? Self-indulgence because it comes under the auspicious
umbrella of doing something for someone else, does not constitute
sacrificial giving.

The worker is worth his wage. If you feel that self-indulgent behavior
is something you just can't do, are you overweight? Or a cumpulsive
self-absorbed obsessor? Ration or budget yourself some me time or
money. Give yourself a reasonable reward for accomplishing something.
Because the middleman won't.

If we give to others and deny ourselves we can actually become envious of
what we are giving to them. This opens the door to resentment when the
"gift" is not used in accordance with our desires or appreciated and
reciprocated. "Nobody asked you to" What is precious to you may not be
precious to the recipient. Don't cast your pearls before swine, also
don't give someone something they don't need or desire and think it is a
gift. You should only expect a positive response when you fulfill a
request.

Oh she never cared for me but did she ever say a prayer for me (Billy Joel.. Only The Good Die Young). If you
spent the time you spend worrying about a problem in prayer about the
problem, perhaps you would stop worrying.

Jesus said not to look back (Lot's wife) Why were the old days better
than these. If we are looking backward we are longing for something we
have no power to change or re-live. By walking backward we are not
preparing ourselves for what is coming. we are not growing we are
regressing or stagnating.

Caroll O'Connor:
Establish a policy of taking all criticism as friendly. Once you insist
to yourself that the other person is well intentioned, you will get value
from legitimate criticism, if there's any there to get, and you won't be
bothered by the rest. When you concede a critic's good will, you disarm
an attacker and encourage an ally.

Columnist Sydney J. Harris and a friend stopped at a newsstand to
purchase a paper. The friend thanked th vendor politely, but the vendor
remained coldly silent. "A sullen fellow, isn't he" remarked Harris as
they moved along. "Oh he's that way every night," said the friend.
"Then why do you continue to be so polite to him?" asked Harris.
Replied the friend, "Why should I let him decide how I'm going to act?"

Insert... There is a huge difference between a gift and a loan.... Loans come with many strings attached, more often than not, these strings are attached by the "giver" and the recipient of the "gift" is unaware that these conditions are attached to the "gift".... This leads to the most common form of suffering known to mankind... Suffering the pain of not having unmet expectations fulfilled... Many, in fact most times, these expectations are known only to the "sufferer"... Up until they are unmet by the person on whom they have been laid...

About the only time this is not true.. Is when God is the focus of this Transference of Aggression... "I asked God... He didn't deliver (fill in the blank) therefore He's not real, doesn't really love me, is a big meany, and therefore is not worthy of any further devotion from me... News flash!!.. God doesn't serve us... We serve Him... James 4:3 And even when you do ask, you don't get it because your whole motive is wrong--you want only what will give you pleasure.... Remember the example of Jesus.... Luke 22:42 "Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will, not mine."... And Paul... 2Corinthians 12:7 even though I have received wonderful revelations from God. But to keep me from getting puffed up, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from getting proud.

2Cr 12:8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.

2Cr 12:9 Each time he said, "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me.

Do this... 1Peter 5:6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you.

1Pe 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.
Trust this... Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them..... Believe this.... Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint..... And this will come true as well.. James 4:10 When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.

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Hi CP!

are these additional thoughts from 9 years ago?

Some day you'll have to write about how it came to be that you had the gun pointed at your head.. How in the world did it ever come to that. Hope things are better for all of you now...

Marie wrote:
Hi CP!

are these additional thoughts from 9 years ago?

Hi Marie...

Yup...

Marie wrote:
Some day you'll have to write about how it came to be that you had the gun pointed at your head.. How in the world did it ever come to that. Hope things are better for all of you now...

I've got some time... I'll tell ya now....

The "event' took place after my ex initiated divorce procedings... I was always the enforcer in the relationship, so I am confident that the combination of impending divorce and youthful angst came together that night... I don't know if my son was on something or not... I can't say for sure... He had been abused by a special-ed teacher some years before and the event had traumatized him.. He was dead-bolted into a 5'x5' closet repeatedly, for such henious acts as not completing asignments.. It led to five years of us seeking redress from the school.. Only to end with less than satisfactory results...

My son was not living at home... However he was at the house recouperating from a broken leg... I was on the computer in the Nortwest corner of the livingroom.. He was on the floor about ten feet south of me... He was lamenting the loss of some cactus plants, that had been entrusted to his grandmother for care.. And had been killed by an unexpected hard freeze... He was also fiddling with a .45.... I had brought both boys up around guns and had hammered gun safety into them from day one..

For reasons still unknown.. (Perhaps I wasn't giving him sympathy?).. He slid a full clip in the weapon, jacked one into the chamber and leveled it at me... It got me more angry than anything... However, knowing the potential of the weapon and the unknow variable of the will of my son to pull the trigger... I just let it pass, said nothing and kept working at the computer... After a few minutes he unloaded and lowered the weapon and moved to the couch, about eight feet from me... After a short time he slid the clip back in, jacked a round in the chamber and we were back to the standoff...

I made up my mind that I could not allow this to pass... While I did not believe he had the will to pull the trigger... I knew that if I didn't act.. He would think that he could bring me to heel.. Any time he wanted, For the rest of his life...

I got up, crossed over to him, grabbed his left wrist (He is left handed) with my right hand... Pushed the weapon away from me and proceded to fight the thing out of his grasp... After a short scuffle.. I was able to gain control of the weapon.. Having been a deputy sheriff... I had a pair of cuffs... I cuffed him, behind the back, and informed him that He would stay restrained until he calmed down.. He asked if I would cuff him in front, because it was uncomfortable the way I had him restrained... I relented and obliged him... I tucked the weapon in the back of my jeans and laid down on the hide-a-bed in the couch and dozed off...

I was awaked by my son jerking something out of my right front pants pocket... He had gone into the garage and hacksawed his way out of the cuffs.... I was groggy and he was running his mouth.. I just wanted to get up and get away from him... I made the mistake of standing up next to him... He pepper sprayed me, point blank in the face.. The stuff burns.. I went to the kitchen sink and attempted to rinse out my right eye that had received a fairly good dose of the stuff.. And found out that the stuff doesn't rinse out so good.. He was still running his mouth, so I went outside.. He followed me out continuing his tirade... With my eye on fire, I was just not in the mood, so I walked off.. I walked five miles to a friend's house.. Which the walking actually helped me work through the effects of the spray better than sitting still would have.. My buddy is a night owl, so he was awake and we sat out on his front porch swing and shot the breeze, while the pepper spray wore off, till dawn....

I went truck driving, very soon after that...

.

wow. Maybe just emotions out of control.. glad nothing worse happened! How is he doing now?

Marie wrote:
wow. Maybe just emotions out of control.. glad nothing worse happened! How is he doing now?

He and I get along much better now... He's not nearly as out of control as he was back then... I'm just glad nobody ended up with any holes in them back then...
.

That's good!!! I'm sure you have thought about that incident many times since then....