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Hello my name is kasilfhome and I'm a  Empty Hello my name is kasilfhome and I'm a

Post by kasilofhome Wed Mar 21, 2012 4:06 pm

Christian, American, homeschooling, Alaskan homesteading fool. Honestly I am sick of this snow and the issues that come with it, I am tired of wait for the sheds to callapes under the weight of the snow. --the schools and all public building are being checked everyday for snow load. I have not driven a car since Nov 9ish due to the darkness here and the stupid super bright headlights which blind me for a few seconds --just long enough for a moose to to volunteer to play pin the car on the moose. There is finally enough hour of daylight for me to drive but Al Gores globel warming has reached here so the car is burerd.

I have one son--he's a joy he's 17 and he's paid for. My husband is his father (I know used to be in the olden days that that was just the givin). My hasband is disabled. Some days are good some days I lack the patients I need. If you are ever blank when it come to mind to prey for someone I could use all you have to spare. Dh has brain damage. The bad days are when he forgets he has it. The boy is really good working with his father and in the past 9 years has turned into strong man with an active faith in God. Ok, Here is my really big secret to the world (family knows the truth) we do not have a real marriage like most people. I was to help dh raise a newborn because the mother couldn't and DH knew he couldn't and I could so here I am 18 years later. I have some regrets over it --No romance. Which make it hard to relate with most married couples. Toss in he can't do much (that happen 8 months after we got married)and needs lot's of care --We have a family pack -The dh will stay and help with his father and he will get the land. -There is a separate tiny cabin 50 feet fo the house that the boy can take over any time he wants to. (I strongly sugjest he or I put in a new wood stove first). The goal is not to burden the boy with living to care for dh. Oh, DS is FAS But......................he's really doing great. He has common sence. Educationally things really did not click till this year but ............... the Native hospital FAS dept Dr. educated my when he was just 18 months what might happen. See teaching the boy to love God, work hard, behave, right from wrong was more important than typical education that somewhere around 16 to 18 things would click for him and to expect to still be dealing with highschool level learning at 26. Slow development. Last year I was freaking out cause it was not clicking and it took lots of faith and pretending to the world that I was not worried that I had failed him in the schooling dept. It is working. I have problems seeing too. It kind ticks me off. I have got to get that boy to pass the state driving test. If the boy could drive it would be nicer. He would have more freedom. He gets out alot though cause he is quite popular. He often traveling with some christian youth group like 3 day trips every other month --he belongs to two church youth groups. Ok, look I haven't sceen the rooster here but I am thinking that most of you are HT'rs so you know a bit about me--just not about the sham marriage. I do not know what to call it. I know I took a vow but when I took it I thought someday...................but when he got hurt well I thought he would get better......Now I am taking responcablity and accepting that he is not nor will he ever be. I have to give up the fantacy that he'll every have it together --So yes I am married --I am just not in a relationship, I hope that that makes sence.

I haven't even snooped around the board and I spilled my guts.

kasilofhome

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Post by Sonshine Wed Mar 21, 2012 10:22 pm

Wish you lived closer so I could give you a huge hug! I'm sorry that you are struggling so much, but am a firm believer that when we let God guide us and we follow where he leads then all things will work together for the good to those the love God and are called according to His purpose.

I'm glad you joined us. Here you will find a save harbor that has many prayer warriors that will help you by lifting you up in prayers and offer encouraging words.

Welcome to the family!
Sonshine
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Post by kasilofhome Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:52 am

Thanks,

kasilofhome

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