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Redneck Church

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Redneck Church

Post by 12acrehome on Mon Jan 13, 2014 11:46 am

Got this in an e-mail, too good not to share


1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if......
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys and two women stand up.
4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if....
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because, "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized Wheeling washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
"Thou shall not covet" applies also to huntin' dogs.

15. You know You're in a Redneck Church if.....
The final words of the benediction are,
"Y'all come back now, Ya hear".
God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!

_________________
Proverbs 28:19  He who works his land will have abundant food...

Genesis 1:29  Then God said,"I give you every seed bearing plant on the face of the whole earth, and every tree that has fruit with seed in it..."

http://christiancountryramblings.com/
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Re: Redneck Church

Post by PATRICE IN IL on Mon Jan 13, 2014 11:59 am

That's a good one, thank for sharing it Keith.
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Re: Redneck Church

Post by Lanichiii on Mon Jan 13, 2014 12:01 pm

My mom & dad's church does use a galvanized watering tub for a baptismal pool. Very Happy

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Re: Redneck Church

Post by dizzy on Mon Jan 13, 2014 6:37 pm

Love #12! Wonder if they use one where the Robertsons go to church.

We don't have a baptismal pool, we use a pond, so what does that make us? (Maybe I should suggest the tub.)

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Re: Redneck Church

Post by Rohn on Mon Jan 13, 2014 9:16 pm

Enjoyed!  Very Happy 
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Re: Redneck Church

Post by mountainmama on Wed Jan 15, 2014 5:09 am

Love it!

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Re: Redneck Church

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